A
Credo For My Relationships With Others
Dr. Thomas Gordon
You and I are in a relationship, which I value
and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate
person with unique needs and the right to meet
those needs.
When you are having problems meeting your needs
I will listen with genuine acceptance so as to
facilitate your finding your own solutions instead
of depending on mine. I also will respect your
right to choose your own beliefs and develop your
own values, different though they may be from
mine.
However, when your behavior interferes with what
I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell
you openly and honestly how your behavior affects
me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings
enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable
to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is
unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly
and honestly so I can change my behavior.
At those times when one of us cannot change to
meet the other's needs, let us acknowledge that
we have a conflict and commit ourselves to resolve
each such conflict without either of us resorting
to the use of power to win at the expense of the
other's losing. I respect your needs, but I also
must respect my own. So let us always strive to
search for a solution that will be acceptable
to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so
will mine - neither will lose, both will win.
In this way, you can continue to develop as a
person through satisfying your needs, and so can
I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in
which both of us can strive to become what we
are capable of being. And we can continue to relate
to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.
Dr. Thomas Gordon
©1972, 1978, 1997 Gordon Training International
please visit www.gordontraining.com
reprinted here with permission |
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